Ron, Harvey, and the new Scarlet Letter

I’ve read with great interest the recent revelations of sexual abuse and accusations of rape against Harvey Weinstein. While I have never personally met Harvey Weinstein, I have worked in both the adult and mainstream industries, and I think I may have a somewhat unique perspective on what’s happening at the moment — particularly when you throw into the mix the recent banning of Ron Jeremy by the Exxxotica Expo. The first of what I hope are many such actions.

I think the differences between what has recently happened around the allegations about each of these men is more informative than the similarities. And I want to explore those differences here.

I’ve read story after story of women in Hollywood with allegations about Harvey Weinstein who kept silent for fear of the impact going public with those allegations would have on their careers. Many of these women received financial settlements to keep what happened private. Even though it seems his sexual abuse was widely known within the mainstream Hollywood industry, it seems this man was allowed to continue being a sexual predator for decades by repeatedly buying the silence of his victims. Very few if any ever spoke publicly. And so the story goes, the abuse rolled on.

And now the “If only” parade of what ifs. What if someone had been bold enough, brave enough, strong enough? What if just one woman who was a victim of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse stood in front of the microphone and said what everyone in Hollywood already seemed to know? How many women would have been saved from their own experience of abuse by this man? We’ll never know, but the question itself raises another interesting question. And that’s the real question I’d like to explore.

Is the definition of “sexual abuse” different depending on whom the victim is? Should it be? I think if you ask most people that simple question, without any context, the answer would be “Of course not.” Sexual abuse is sexual abuse! Rape is rape! What a stupid question, right? Not so fast…

And here is where the similarities between the allegations against Ron Jeremy and Harvey Weinstein come into play, and more importantly, the differences. Each have now been accused of sexual abuse. The accusations are now just finding the real light of day when it comes to Harvey Weinstein, but the same cannot be said of Ron Jeremy. My accusations against Ron Jeremy go back to the 1980’s. And they were very public. I won’t rehash them here as they are well documented. Look them up. And they were met with … crickets. No one seemed to care. Nothing happened.

18 Comments

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  1. No one male or female has the right to touch another person with out the persons permission. No means NO. Until we start to respect each other it will continue. Best wishes to you and yours

  2. Very interesting perspective and I am not surprised you stood up for yourself. You have always been a strong independent woman and I am sorry to hear that no one listened to you (even though I am sure you saved some women from having to endure that bad behavior). Love you and miss you!

  3. I remember when I met Ginger in San Francisco at an industry meet & greet. I was in a booth between her and Ronnie. She and I hit it off instantly…she’s just so easy to talk with and so personable and down to earth. I was just coming into the industry and was thrilled to be talking with a legend. But there was a point where Ronnie got up on stage and began introducing the talent in the room. Ginger asked me to escort her outside before he could say her name. I didn’t question the reason as she took me by the hand and we walked outside. At that moment…I was living a dream.

    Now looking back, I see her motivation. And I fully agree. Sexual abuse is just that and nothing else. Rape is rape and it is horribly wrong on every conceivable level.

  4. So glad you are not in the “wish I would have” or “ashamed I didn’t” camps. You are in the “Hell yes I did, and from day one!” world – and, sadly, pretty much alone there. Congratulations on your bravery then, and your calling out of the deaf ears now. As the father of a daughter who fights this evil every day in the workplace, I thank you for using your public voice on this. You always do more than people expect – and for all the right reasons. Best.

  5. People listened to you Ginger, it’s just that the status quo was too profitable for many so they did their best to either marginalize you, the personal attacks surprising in some cases, or to compartmentalize the event by suggesting the worst that happened was RJ “might have gone just a little too far” rather than admit his portrayed persona was always a ruse. You and I spoke about it a few times in the past and you assured me that you knew who your real friends were, it’s just sad that it has taken several high profile Hollywood cases to come about before some see the light (Cosby, Weinstein, and a handful of others).

    The Hollywood casting couch system is well known too so it’s not like any of this is a surprise, porn having it’s own little “inconveniences” over the years ranging from bullies that will sue if you publicize an attack, to the media darlings that get a “tsk tsk” even when they admit they act abusive like James Deen, all the way to full blown sexual assault you described. At least in your case, you warned the rest of the industry long before it was popular to do so, those that choose to ignore you have only themselves to blame.

  6. Hi, I have had Sirius XM radio. Why can’t I find your channel anymore? I’m truly heart broken. It’s not the same anymore. I’m 100% positive at least 1,000,000 subscriber’s feel the same. We all miss you both. 1 of your biggest fan.

  7. Your article is thought provoking and your thesis is inarguable. ANY unwanted advances (certainly up to & including rape) are UNWANTED. I have always treated women with the utmost respect. I honestly do not know what is wrong with these pieces of garbage like Weinstein. It is incomprehensible to me that any man thinks that this kind of behavior is remotely OK.

  8. Unfortunately, it’s not surprising: Rose MacGowan was told that no judge would’ve believed her because she had done a few nude scenes in her movies (and, as someone who has worked on movie sets, I know how those are carried out in mainstream films: they generally use flesh-colored underwear, strategically placed sheets, ambiguous camera angles, high-contrast lighting, body-doubles and so on – very often, the talent appears to be naked ONLY after the scene has been cut together). A porn actress would’ve just been dismissed as a glorified prostitute and we all know that sex workers are always willing to do it, no matter what the circumstances are (yes, I am being sarcastic in case you didn’t get it).

  9. remember what you told me, and I believed you. While I always watched my back I always made sure to watch more closely around him. Because of what you said. Thank you.

  10. As somebody who had a foot in both worlds (mainstream and Hollywood) I was often struck at how much LESS sleazy porn was about sexual harassment (term didn’t exist at the time).

    I had a girlfriend who was trying to be a Playboy Playmate and the stories she’d bring back every day were sheerest horrorshow. She gave up and was much happier dealing with the “normal” sexual harassment she faced every day.

    But it was still ugly in porn, too. Thanks for bringing this up.

  11. Well written and very thought provoking. As a male who enjoyed your
    Movies and porn I never thought of it like that and what you are saying makes sense and so dumb of me to think that it couldn’t happen in the adult industry. You are correct should never had made a difference whether it was one or the other and I applaud you for bringing it up when you did.

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