Wrangling Kittens

MILF: A wonderful category of real women in porn. They’ve been around the block and stopped at every house at least twice making sure everyone is satisfied. They’re comfortable with who they are. They act their own age and they own it as well.

NO SHOW: This is about 20% of all porn stars on any given day. Their agent will call about an hour after the girl was scheduled to arrive and explain the tragic story. Some of the most common excuses are: dead grandma, dead dog, dead cat, dead bird, dead ferret, lost a tooth, locked her keys in the house, overslept, accidentally double booked herself, forgot which day we were on for, has a bruise, forgot where she left her car the night before (that one was me), her boyfriend doesn’t want her to do porn anymore, she’s got the flu, she’s on her period, she’s just not in the mood,. Then we have my personal favorite: She forgot she had to move that day (honest to God).

QUITTER: This is the girl who shows up on time, her makeup is perfect and she’s ready and excited to work. Then about ten minutes into the shoot she begins to cry and decides to quit the business. I’ve only had this happen twice … both times it was the same girl. She’s still in the business today after changing her name three times. Good luck, lady. Or rather, “GET OUT!” You don’t belong here.

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